Intuition?

By Tom Remington

One day this summer as I was visiting my son and his family in the Bangor region, I stopped in at a local Hannaford's grocery store to pick up a few things. You, know some beeyah! I got to the check out and as I was waiting, of which I had plenty of time to wait. You know them Maine people got one speed and it wouldn't win too many races. Anyways, I was standing around and began watching the things going on in the next check-out over.

There was this woman, you see, and she was unloading her cart one item at a time. I would guess she was maybe 30 or 35 years old. And right behind her in line was what could have been the town drunk or local selectman, I'm not sure. But anyways he was watching real close you see to see what everything that woman was bringing out of her cart. I don't think she liked it too much and she began to look somewhat peeved.

Oh ayuh! The old bastard was just craning his neck to see everything she had. Well, she got madder and madder and then she just turned her back to the feller and tried to ignore him. Well I thought that would be it you know and all of a sudden that woman turned around and looked at the old geezer and before she could say a word the SOB says, "I bet you ain't married are ya". Well I'm telling you right now she was some pissed. But no sooner than she had turned around again and she turned one more time to the man and she had a quizzical look on her face and she said to him, "I'm curious! How could you tell by looking at what I had in my cart that I wasn't married?' "I couldn't!", the crusty fool said, "You're just too damned ugly to be married!"