God Created Maine

Submitted by Bill Cushing

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him resting on the seventh day.  He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downward through the clouds. "Look, Michael, look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

 "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of the earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. The Middle East over there will be a hot spot,"God continued, pointing to different countries.  "This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered with ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to an area with mountains, lakes and forests, "What's that one?"

"Ah!," said God, "that's Maine, the most glorious place on earth.  There are beautiful beaches, rivers, lakes, and Mountains.  The people from Maine are going to be modest,intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, decent hardworking, and high achieving people, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

 Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then exclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!  Everyone and everything seems so totally perfect in this place you call Maine!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see all the idiots I'm sending them from the rest of the world every summer."