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"Fix the Outhouse, Virgil!"
by Tom Remington
Virgil came in the front door the other day
from doing the chores and he no sooner got his cow-pooped boots over the
stoop when Florena told him to go fix the outhouse.
"They ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse. I
was in it this morning," said Virgil.
"You just go on out to the outhouse and fix
it, now!" yelled Florena.
So Virgil put on his coat and headed for the
the outhouse. When he got inside he looked around a bit and then yelled back
at the house, "They ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse, Florena!"
"You got to stick your head down inside the
hole!" Florena yelled.
"I ain't stickin my head in the outhouse
hole," Virgil replied.
"Just stick your head in the damned whole and
you'll see what the problem is," she demanded.
Reluctantly and slowly, Virgil stuck his head
down into the hole and looked around but he saw nothing. When he attempted
to bring his head up out of the hole, his beard got stuck in the crack of
one of the boards. "Florena, come help get me outta this damned hole! My
beard is stuck in the crack!" Virgil yelled.
"Now you know what's wrong with the outhouse!"
she yelled back.
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