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Read about the Life and Times of Eleazer Peabody - Native Mainer and Outdoorsman

Go here and find hundreds of links to funny web sites!

This is who the town of Andover, Maine is voting for in 2008

Read about the 280 lb. pig that tried to escape from the back of a trailer being hauled by a car in downtown Ellsworth - we won't "Boar" you!

Original Photo by Gregg Inman

That harsh winters in Maine can sometimes make even the most supple skin a bit on the rough side. Cuddle up with this Maine native on a cold frosty night and you may be "barking" up the wrong tree? ooooooh!

Original Photo by Tom Remington

Mainers love outtastaters and display their affection in many ways. Here a tree from the Blake's Tree Farm gets into the act.

I Just Had to Put This One on the Front Page -

Branden Faulkenham was a farm boy who rarely left the farm out in East Andover so you can imagine how he must have reacted the first time a girl paid any attention to him. He went to school each day but mostly minded his own business and as soon as school was out, he headed straight home to do his chores.

One day while at school, Branden met a girl and even though he had not the slightest idea what to do with a girl, they saw each other as often as they could while at school.

This relationship went on for some time when one day Sally asked him to come to her house on Friday night for supper and meet her parents. Branden was quite hesitant at first but Sally explained that because this was such a big event for her and her family that they could have sex after the dinner was over.

Branden was nervously excited partly because he had never had sex before but he had heard some things about it. So, he headed down to Rumford to the LaVerdierres pharmacy to get some condoms and anything else he could think of.

He began talking with the pharmacist about his situation and getting some advice. The pharmacist was extremely helpful in answering many of Branden's questions and when he had finished, he asked him if he would like a 3-pack, a 12-pack or the new family pack. Branden explained that he better take the family pack as it would be a very busy night for him being that it was his first time.

Friday night came and Branden was greeted at the front door by Sally and they immediately went into the dining room for dinner. Oddly, Branden sat down almost immediately and offered to ask the blessing on the food.

Everyone bowed there heads and Branden did his and remained silent as his lips moved to the words he was saying in his silent prayer. This continued for a very long time until Sally finally leaned over and whispered in Branden's ear, "I didn't know you were so religious!"

To which Branden replied, "I didn't know your father was a pharmacist!"

Readers: I was sent this article by Milton Inman of Greenwood City, Maine - Home of L.L. Bean. I had read this same article some time ago and thought it clever, believable and worthy of reprint. Even though it has a name etc., I have not authenticated that this is actually a real letter. Confession as well, here. This is not taking place in Maine, but it very well could have and it is humor that we all can relate to - that is those of us who know what a friggin beaver is! Enjoy!

DEP letter

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan
Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood - debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2003. Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that our staff may schedule a follow-up site inspection. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
David L. Price, District Representative
Land and Water Management Division

** Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries: **

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity. My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

I have several concerns. My first concern is; aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation-so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names.

If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers-but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English. In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until1/31/2003? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not
careful where they dump!)

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

THANK YOU.

RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS

Did you see this one? Found in the Bangor News.

Corinth to Allow Liquor Stores - It says that after 70 years residents voted to allow the sale of alcohol within the town limits. I guess we all had better stay away from that town because we know they will all become drunkards.

They tried passing it through about 6 months ago from what I understand and it failed but this time it went through by 23 votes. One resident was quoted as saying, "I did not expect it to pass. It's kind of interesting that if 12 people had decided to vote the other way, it wouldn't have."

Wow! No that's quite a profound statement. Must be some of that new math. The interesting part of this issue is, nobody has any plans to sell liquor but the founder of the referendum I guess thought it might be a good idea. You know, "just in case". I mean Bush was re-elected to a second term and Maine voted squarely in favor of John Kerry and according to Dr. Phil, there is probably going to be a lot of post election depression. And depression leads to drinking and within a few years, Corinth will be doomed.

In June when they had the first vote, 736 voters showed up to cast a ballot but this time around more than twice, 1483 voted. I heard there was some real underhandedness going on and according to unofficial exit polls, the same ones the democrats where using all over the country on election night, several voters were bribed with Shirley Temples. Do we need election reform or what?

On a closing note, the same resident who spoke so profoundly earlier and was quoted shall be quoted once again. He said, "We feel that the town of Corinth had something special. If we let it become like every other town, it no longer has that something special."

One of the last towns in Maine to allow alcohol sales. No that's something special!

Presque Isle - Residents there are divided over an ordinance regulating the treatment of pets. The author of the proposed ordinance says the wording is to go after those who don't care about their pets and take care of them. Two major issues on the ordinance are objectionable by some. It states that dogs cannot be left outside in temperatures below 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Well, that settles that! Seeing as it never warms above 32 degrees all dogs will have to remain inside.

The other issue deals with a requirement that all dogs eat from their own dish. Hell, I didn't start doing that until after I was married. What does that make me?

Stay tuned to this channel for the latest updates on this story and more.

Bucksport Panel OKs affordable housing plan - The town council, with some reservations, has pledged to back a proposed affordable housing construction program. Councilors voted last week to sponsor a Community Development Block Grant application for a "self-help" home construction program proposed by the Washington-Hancock Community Agency. However, they balked at the site the agency has proposed for development. The agency assured the board that the site was perfect for this type of thing and wanted the council to see a finished product on site completed by a "self-help" builder.