Otis was riding his bicycle one day down the East Andover road and low and behold staring him in the face is a big sign sticking up out of the ground in front of an old house. The sign said, “Talking Dog For Sale”. Otis was enthralled and couldn’t resist knowing what this was. He parked his bike and went and knocked on the front door of the house.
When the door opened, there stood Gabby, looking dapper as one might imagine he could.
“The sign says you got a talking dog for sale. Is that true?” asked Otis.
“Yup,” said Gabby.
“Where is this talking dog anyway? Can I take a look at him before I think about buying him?” inquired Otis.
“Oh, sure! He’s out back. Go see him if you want,” replied Gabby.
So Gabby showed Otis the back door and Otis went out to see the dog. Gabby stayed inside. Otis approached the dog cautiously and looked him all over. The dog certainly didn’t look any different than any other dog he had ever seen.
He approached the dog house where the dog was laying. Otis stopped, looked all around to make sure no one was watching him and then says to the dog, “So, uh, like, uh, you can talk?”
Otis quickly looked all around to make sure nobody was watching as he assumed this was a joke.
The dog picked his head up and looked at Otis, yawned, stretched his front and back legs, shook himself off and says, “Yeah, I can talk! So what!”
Otis couldn’t believe it. A real live talking dog.
“If you’re so smart and can talk, why are you with this guy Gabby?” Otis asked.
“Well,” says the dog. “It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got time,” said Otis as he still couldn’t believe this dog could talk.
The dog began telling his story, “Yeah, I am retired now. I use to work for the FBI many years ago. No one knew I could talk except my master who worked for the FBI. He would send me in under cover. Because nobody knew I could talk, they didn’t pay any attention to me. I would go back to the office and tell my boss everything that happened.”
“Wow,” said Otis. “That’s impressive.”
“Then my master retired, so I went to work for the CIA, and then from there I was actually assigned to keep the President of the United States informed as to what the Democrats where up to in Congress,” the dog went on.
“Really?” asked Otis. “I can’t believe this stuff. But how did you end up with Gabby?”
“I’m getting to that!” said the dog. “After I worked for the President, he was afraid that if anyone found out what I did, they might have to kill me, so he sold me to this guy who worked for the TSA - you know, airport security. I would run around sniffing suitcases and strange looking packages and then go tell my master what was in them. Made him look like a genius.”
“But how did you end up here?” Otis insisted.
“One day, I woke up and my master was dead.” the dog replied. “He was the last person on earth that knew I could talk. I figured that this was my chance to become a regular dog, so I retired. No body wanted an old regular dog, so I ended up at the Humane Society down in Rumford where Gabby found me. He brought me home and took good care of me. After a while, I felt comfortable with him and I figured he wasn’t too bright, so I told him my whole story. Next thing I know, he’s got me up for sale.”
“You just wait here. I’ll buy you and take you home. I’ll be right back.” Otis said to the dog and proceeded to go inside and find this guy Gabby.
Gabby was sitting on the front steps eating a piece of chocolate creme pie. Otis came out the front door trying to act non-chalantly about this talking dog.
He says to Gabby, “Uh, er, you know that dog can talk right?”
“Yup!” said Gabby.
“Okay,” said Otis. “How much you want for him?”
Gabby thought for a minute and says, “Ten bucks.”
Otis reached in his pocket and quickly pulled out ten bucks and handed it over to Gabby. After Gabby had put the ten bucks in his pocket, Otis says, “I don’t get it! You have a dog that can talk. He seems like a good dog, well behaved and you want to sell him for ten bucks. WHY?”
Gabby replied, “I know he can talk, but he didn’t do all them things he said he did!”