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Professor
Otis
Otis and Gabby were engaged in
heated conversation one day while sitting on the steps of the
Town Hall. Otis always gets frustrated with Gabby because he
just is too damned stupid. You’ve heard the expression, “He
ain’t got a clue”? Well, in Gabby’s case, he don’t even suspect.
So, for some unbeknownst
reason, Otis mentioned to Gabby something in one of his rantings
about damned communists and of course Gabby got confused.
“Otis,” he said. “I don’t know
what a communist is. I sure wished you’d stop using them big
words. You know you are smarter than me.”
Well, Otis thought for a minute
and said to Gabby, “I’m going to give you a lesson in politics
that I think even a moron like you can get.”
With that, Otis began to
explain to Gabby all about the different kinds of societies all
over the planet. It went something like this:
“This is what socialism is
Gabby,” he began. “If you have two cows, you keep one and have
to give the other one to ya neighbor.
Now communism is different,
Gabby. If you live in a communist country and you have two cows,
they come and take em both away from ya and then give you back
some of the milk.
Fascism ain’t any better,
Gabby. With facsism, they come and take your two cows and then
they make you buy the milk back from them if you want any milk
for the kids.
Bureaucracy is really kinda
hard to explain but I think you might get this. If you got two
cows, the government comes and takes them both. Then they take
one of them cows and they take it out and shoot it. The other
one they milk it. Then they come to your house and pay you for
the milk before they dump it out on the ground.
Hang in there with me Gabby.
Now capitalism is good Gabby. With capitalism, you got two cows,
you sell one and then go buy farmer Bailey’s old bull. That way
you can have more cows to sell.
But if you live in the
corporate world it’s kinda screwed up. In the corporate world,
if you got two cows, they’ll make ya sell one of em and then
make you get more milk out of the one cow than the old girl can
handle. Then they wonder why the damned cow dropped dead.
When you live in a Demcracy it
can be confusin too Gabby. In a democracy, if you got two cows,
the government is going to make you pay taxes on both of them
cows. They’re gonna charge you more than you can afford, so you
have to sell em both in order to help pay for a man who lives
half way around the world who only has one cow that was given to
him by our government.”
“Wow!” said Gabby. “Which one
we live in, Otis?”
“Oh, shut up will you!”
answered Otis
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