Contents

Boy Meets Girlfriend's Parents

Branden was quite hesitant at first but Sally explained that because this was such a big event for her and her family that they could have sex after the dinner was over.

No Need Crying Over Spilled Milk

Pastor Righteous told Virgil and Florena that they would be welcomed into the church but that the church had certain standards - pre-requisites, if you will.

A Deer Hunter's Story

I went in the woods and hunted my ass off and what do I get for a deer to shoot at? A big bastard with a good rack.

Forget About the Red Necks

You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

The Old Gas Station

The service station trade was slow.
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick.
Piled shavings on the ground.

Satan and the Maineiacs

A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long judgment. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the pearly gates into Heaven.

An Old Farmer's Advice

Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

Bessie's Accident

“Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road....”

Potpourri of Maine Jokes

a senior at University of Maine was overheard saying "when the end of the world comes, I hope to be in "Maine"

God Created Maine

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

Shoulda Brought The Wife

They checked in at the Four Points Sheraton in Bangor and while Eben was getting them registered Archer wandered over to to the far end of the lobby and observed in absolute awe

Advantages of Marrying Late

"Norman, why did you wait so long to get married? We all assumed at your age you would never tie the knot!"

Ugly Wife

The discussions mostly surrounded the fact that his new bride seemed nice but she wasn't very good looking.

Fix The Outhouse, Virgil

Virgil stuck his head down into the hole and looked around but he saw nothing.

Ed and John

One morning as the two men were heading to work they met and a strange thing happened

Met Her Before

"Well, I guess I need 'nuff ta git to Portland and back home

Got My Car Fixed

I nearly fell over backwards in shock and disbelief. "I didn't need my rear quarter panel painted

Riding in Style

and the poor fella was humped up trying to stay warm

Discerning Taste

he tipped the sack upside down and out fell 2 rabbits, 5 partridge and a loon

Man's Best Friend

we call a dog "man's best friend" is because a dog can't talk

World of Technology

had a new computer at the Radio Shack down at the Oxford Plaza in Norway, Maine that could answer all your fishing questions.

Yeller Dog

the best coon hound in the State of Maine, and probably all of North America

Hit and Run

He spotted this white Lincoln Continental with New York license plates

Mule or a Donkey

they began to argue with each other about whether or not the animal they were going to bury was a mule or a donkey

Intuition?

The old bastard was just craning his neck to see everything she had

Doc Willis

I never did think them out-a-staydahs had too many common senses