Confused Are You

Please do not re-publish, copy, re-distribute or use any of the pictures or exact writings without the express consent of the author.

For permission to use artist/authors work, please contact: webmaster@laughmaine.com

CUMMUNICADIN' - "Communicating or communication". All species and sub-species of humans (meaning those from away you know) have a way of communicating or interacting. Of course Mainers got their own way of doing it and if you ain't up to speed on this you can really miss out. Also, some from away have gotten so darned good at this "cummuncadin" that they have been able to confuse some native Mainers - particularly the dead ones. To help you out here, I'm going to list some of the more popular means of communicating. You also need to know and it's important you learn this too, that "cummunicadin" is done without speaking. If you speak then they know you "ain't from round heeya arr ya".

1. "THE YANKEE NOD" - a means of saying hello without actually speaking. Usually done while driving a pick-up, tractor or skidder. The yankee nod is when the person tips their head up and back and at the same time, and this is critically important, they open their mouth real wide.

2. "THE ONE-FINGER WAVE" - Not to be confused with "Givin um tha fingah". No, the one-finger wave is done the vast majority of the time while driving a pick-up truck. Place both or one hand if your driving on pavement, on the steering wheel. The hand or hands need to be at the top of the steering wheel and all four fingers wrapped tightly around the wheel. When you meet an oncoming vehicle of someone you might know, the index (pointy) finger shoots straight up in the air. That's a one-finger wave. The old timers have variations of that. Sometimes even when driving on dirt roads, they only use one hand while driving and they do the one-finger wave at the same time. A real Mainer can slide one or both hands up the wheel while the oncoming car approaches and prepare for the one-finger wave. And in my travels I have seen and this is not recommended to try at home, a Mainer actually raise one arm up to about 90 degrees WITHOUT grasping the wheel and conducting a one-finger wave. AMAZING!

3. "THE WOODSMAN'S DIP" - This is not a dance or something you stick in your mouth. The woodsman's dip is a quick and more importantly an effortless "hello" (again, not spoken). While approaching another person, quickly dip your chin toward your chest bringing the rest of your head with it of course. Eye contact is not necessary and not highly recommended either. Many times this gesture is followed by a quick glance away from the approaching individual. This way you will be sure to avoid any unnecessary verbal exchange. Using this means of "cummunicadin" while in a pick-up truck is really a waste of time because it is so subtle it won't be seen by the oncoming person and that may lead them to assume you are stuck up or something. Maybe you been around them flatlanders too long or something. FOR THE EXPERT: While driving you can use the Woodsman's Dip and the Yankee Nod in combination but it has to be done right. The Woodsman's Dip comes first followed immediately by the Yankee Nod! In case you are wondering, there are no recorded incidences of anyone using a Yankee Nod, a One-finger Wave and a Woodsman's Dip in combination - well at least that lived!

Rs - One of the most important things to learn is about them Rs! In Maine when a word has an R in it, we leave it out of the pronunciation. Ex: Bar Harbor - Maine - Bah Hahbah. Got it? Now to add more confusion to the mix, we add Rs where there ain't any! Go figure! Ex: Many of us all over the United States uses the expression "ya" to reply in the positive. Well in Maine it's done this way: "Yarrrr". This will take some practice but you can do it. Once you got the Rs down, you are well on your way to talking like a Mainer. But remember, you'll never be one so get it out of your thick skull now and quit trying to pretend to be one!

AYUH! - Simply means yes! Not to be confused with "Yarrr". Sometimes it is a generational thing. The younger generation finds it a bit cooler to say "Yarrr" instead of "Ayuh".

HOT NUFF FAW YA? - That is a question that is casually asked by Mainers when they meet someone that they know ain't a flatlander. Usually posed to an acquaintance. When the asker poses the question, which by the way is "Is it hot enough for you?" They really are not seeking an answer and sometimes not even a response - although most times a low grunt will be okay. Obviously this question is asked only during the summer month (notice month is not plural) when the temperature reaches 80 degrees. Mainers notoriously despise the warmth - well the cold too and the mud season, and the black flies. Fall ain't too bad except the damned leaf-peepers!

CHUPP TA? - Which means: "What are you up to or what are you doing?" Very much like "hot nuff faw ya?" this does not require a response. It's just another way of saying hello.

Blinkkah - This one really confuses many Outta Staydahs. You see, those from away, although they never use them themselves refer to this as a "turn signal" or sometimes a "directional light". In Maine it's called a "Blinkkah" (blinker for the illiterate). With the strong influence of the French Canadians in Maine, a blinkkah is a difficult concept to understand. Once a man in a IGA parking lot was having some difficulty with his and asked a passer-by if he could tell him if his blinkkah was working. In a very thick French accent the man replied, "Ayuh, nope, ayuh, nope, ayuh, nope......."